Keep Calm & Carry On: A Parent’s Guide to Helping Children Manage Their Emotions

It doesn’t HAVE to be an emotional rollercoaster…

Parenting a child with ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) comes with unique challenges, particularly when it comes to managing emotions. Children with ADHD often experience intense emotions, such as frustration, anger, and anxiety, and may find it difficult to express or regulate these feelings. For parents, learning how to guide and support their child through emotional ups and downs is essential to helping them thrive.

If you're in New Zealand, this guide will provide practical tips for managing emotions while also exploring how understanding ADHD more deeply can make a significant difference in your child’s development.

Recognising the Signs of ADHD and Emotional Struggles

Children with ADHD tend to experience emotional sensitivity more intensely than their peers. They may have rapid mood swings, struggle with disappointment, or become easily frustrated. Understanding that these emotional reactions are a part of ADHD, not just behavioural issues, can help you approach these challenges with more empathy.

Common emotional signs of child ADHD include:

• Difficulty handling criticism

• Frequent frustration when faced with tasks that require sustained attention

• Anxiety about social situations or school performance

• Difficulty calming down after an upsetting event

• Meltdowns or tantrums in response to changes in routine or unexpected events

If these emotional struggles sound familiar, and your child also shows signs of hyperactivity, impulsiveness, or inattention, it might be worth seeking an ADHD assessment. Early diagnosis can be crucial in providing the right emotional and academic support.

Seeking a Child ADHD Diagnostic in New Zealand

For parents noticing these signs, seeking a child ADHD diagnostic in New Zealand is the first step. This process typically involves a thorough assessment of your child’s behaviour across different environments, like home and school. In the Bay of Plenty region, clinics such as Bay Paediatrics provide comprehensive ADHD assessments in Tauranga, using advanced tools that give clear insights into your child’s symptoms.

Receiving a diagnosis can help clarify why your child experiences these emotional challenges and guide you towards effective strategies for helping them manage their emotions.

How ADHD Affects Emotional Regulation

Children with ADHD often struggle with something known as “emotional dysregulation,” meaning they have difficulty controlling their emotional responses. This can result in outbursts of anger, extreme frustration over small problems, or intense sadness that may seem disproportionate to the situation. This is not because they want to act out, but rather because ADHD affects their ability to process and manage their feelings.

Understanding that these reactions are part of how ADHD impacts your child’s brain can help you respond in ways that are constructive rather than punitive. Emotional dysregulation is a key part of ADHD, and learning how to manage it is vital for helping your child develop healthy coping skills.

Keep calm, and carry on

Practical Tips for Helping Your Child Manage Emotions

ADHD is a lifelong diagnosis, and managing emotions is a lifelong skill. Children with ADHD often need additional support and patience. Here are some strategies to help your child navigate their emotional world:

1. Acknowledge and Validate Their Feelings
   It’s essential to acknowledge your child’s emotions rather than dismiss or downplay them. When your child is upset or frustrated, use phrases like, "I can see you're really upset" or "I understand this is hard for you." Validating their feelings shows them that it’s okay to have strong emotions and that you’re there to help.

2. Teach Calming Techniques
   Deep breathing, counting to ten, or using mindfulness techniques can help children calm down when they’re feeling overwhelmed. Practice these methods with your child when they’re calm, so they can use them during emotional episodes. Visual aids like "calm down" cards or posters can be helpful reminders.

3. Create a Safe Space for Emotional Expression
   Designate a quiet area in your home where your child can go to calm down when their emotions get too intense. Having a safe space allows them to take a break, process their feelings, and return when they’re ready. Equip this space with sensory tools like stress balls, beanbags, or calming music.

4. Use Clear and Consistent Boundaries
   Children with ADHD often respond well to clear, consistent boundaries. Establishing firm but compassionate rules around behaviour can help your child understand what is acceptable and what isn’t, without feeling confused or overwhelmed. Be sure to explain why certain behaviours are not allowed and offer alternative ways for them to express their emotions.

5. Break Down Tasks to Reduce Frustration
   Many children with ADHD become frustrated when faced with complex or lengthy tasks. Break down these tasks into smaller, manageable steps to help reduce feelings of overwhelm. Offer frequent encouragement as they complete each part of the task to help boost their confidence and motivation.

6. Model Healthy Emotional Responses
   Children learn a lot from observing their parents. If you manage your own emotions calmly and respectfully, your child is more likely to mirror those behaviours. When you’re upset or frustrated, try to explain how you’re feeling and demonstrate how you calm yourself down. This will teach your child that it’s okay to feel emotional, but there are healthy ways to manage it.

7. Seek Professional Support
   If you’re feeling overwhelmed by your child’s emotional struggles, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. Therapists who specialise in ADHD can work with your child to develop emotional regulation skills. In Tauranga and the wider Bay of Plenty region, ADHD-specific support services can provide guidance tailored to your child’s unique needs.

Navigating the Emotional Journey of ADHD

Parenting a child with ADHD can be emotionally taxing, but understanding the root cause of your child’s struggles can make all the difference. By recognising the emotional impact of ADHD and seeking the right resources, you can help your child build strong emotional regulation skills that will benefit them throughout their life.

It’s important to remember that emotional dysregulation is part of ADHD, not a reflection of poor parenting or a child’s unwillingness to behave. By approaching your child with patience, compassion, and consistent strategies, you can guide them through emotional challenges and help them develop into confident, emotionally resilient individuals.

In the Bay of Plenty, support is available through ADHD specialists and clinics that offer comprehensive assessments and interventions. If you’re concerned about your child’s emotional well-being and suspect ADHD may be a factor, seek an ADHD assessment in Tauranga to gain clarity and develop a roadmap for your child’s future success.

Supporting a child with ADHD through their emotional ups and downs can be challenging, but with the right strategies and professional help, parents can equip their children with the tools they need to thrive emotionally and academically. Remember, you don’t have to navigate this journey alone—there are many resources available across New Zealand to help you and your child every step of the way, and the Bay Paediatrics Team will always be in your corner, ready to support you.